I won't lie to you, a person I know very well uses his girlfriend as his assistant. It is definately not a charming atmosphere back stage nor on stage. BUT then again his act is kinda like their relationship so it workes out well for them:P

The answer is very simple. If we are talking about my first wife the answer is "you must be crazy". If we are talking about my second wife the answer is "don't leave home without her", so there be the difference.
Al

There's an old saying about bodily functions, location and eating as relates to work and romance.

The same thing applies with regards to assistants, unless you happen to be Falkenstein & Willard, the Pendragons or the Beckers. There are a few other notable exceptions, of course...

In fact, the exceptions seem to be more the rule in magic, now that I think about it...!

Lee Darrow, C.H.

Bodily functions and eating. HA HA HA
Al

I say NO don't get ur GF as an assistant what happens if you break up???? you would be left with out an assistnat and the secret could get out if ur GF is mad at you

Never? Seems a few started that way...

Mark Kalin & Ginger
Harry and Gay Blackstone
The Pendragons
The Falkensteins
Petric and Mia

I think it's a matter of how the two approach the situation. Work is work and play is play. I've worked alongside my girlfriend for a long time. I now work alongside my wife. We work well together...but not magic.

Briansmagic,

I have used 4 different girlfriends as assistants... since I no longer perform professionally anymore, nor date any of those girls, I'm probably not a good authority on this...

that being said, let me tell you why it didn't really work for me.

When I'm with my girlfriend (current and past) I tend to "baby" them. When I do shows, I'm all business. So, when what is normally, "Honey, let me go to the car and get this because I might need it." becomes, "Hey, get those silks out of the car I forgot, I have to set this table up... and try not to knock that stuff over again," they tend to not take it the right way.

So I would say don't mix business with pleasure... my fiance, for the most part, can't stand magic... but the other day I performed Michael P. Lair's Beach Memories for her (www.lairmagic.com to watch a video...) and now she likes to play with the invisible thread.

So... I'd say don't do it.

Mike

Ah yes, I remember her well.

I would say the real issue is whether she's interested in show biz or not. I had several girlfriends over a period of years, and only one of them had any interest in being on stage; in fact, she was a very good dancer and costume designer. We talked several times about doing an act together, but I finally decided she wouldn't be amenable to all the rehearsals, so we dropped the idea.

A couple of years ago I trained Donna to do a short magic act for a couple of magician friends who were coming to dinner. We both thought it would be a blast, but it actually took about three sessions before she understood that rehearsals are a place to make mistakes and correct them. I'm so used to that idea that I found it amazing how long it took her to get it, especially considering she had been a cheerleader for four years in high school. But that's how it goes.

The act came out great, but she just doesn't have any interest in doing it again.

I think if your wife or girlfriend has had a burning, lifelong dream to be a magician's assistant, then go for it. Your passions are matched.

If not, you might want to leave it alone and use someone who is just in it for the money. They have a motivation to do it right and to keep doing it.

I have performed in the past with girlfriends without any problem.
I have also performed with the last girlfriend, now wife, but she doesn't like it anymore, so now I am waiting to perform with my doughter, she looks good for shows (but she is still only 3....).
Regarding this I have a comment: if you think the girlfriend might me a "temporary relationship", how do you solve the fact that you have to tell her how you do your tricks? I mean, if she is an active partner of ocurse you have to, but if she only helps? I remember I never told them I did my tricks, and I think I did well because now they have nothing to do with magic... but I would like to listen your opinion..

// Andrea

Just remember this is SHOW/ BUSINESS. Sometimes an intimate relationship can get in the way of the business part. But sometimes it works in your favor.

All I can go by is my own experience...
My lovely girlfriend Sylver and I have been performing together for two years as part of a performance group, in the group we were pretty much equal...Now we perform a seperate sideshow act with just the two of us.
We're still equal.
I am a sideshow/fire performer/bizarrist magician and I am...Unusual looking to say the least.
She is a sideshow/fire performer/dancer who is Beautiful, filled with personality and is absolutelty adorable on stage.
Imagine a foppish Brit version of the Amazing Johnathon coupled with a mischevious Tinkerbell and you have our act.
I would be no where near as successful as I am without her and her unique interpretation of character. I do all of the talking during the act (Her character is silent, communicating only through cue cards), but it is her the crowd flocks to after the shows.
She is not my assistant...Yes, I wrote the show, developed the routines and built most of the props, but she puts just as much effort into it as I do and half of the stunts and illusions in the show are performed by her.
She's a partner.
Is it rough sometimes? Yes. When we are developing a new bit for her to perform, it can get tense ("I barely fit in this BOX you made...and now you try to poke me in the eye with a stick? GIMMIE THAT!!" Followed by thwacking sounds and a magician running for his own safety)
But those are few and far between. We have our props list and prep down so well that we can set up the whole act in under 5 minutes flawlessly. No bickering there!
I guess what I am saying is that if you have a good solid mature relationship, treat your partner like a partner with respect instead of dictating, if they have a real interest in performing and have some real skills...
There is no real reason why it won't work.
Gwyd

The equation is simple, personalities, will they work together or not?

Every combo is different, what will work for one couple will not work for another.

If you can get the relationship to work, you will reap the benifits, however as we have also learned if the relationship fails, the damage is significant.

There is no one right answer, the answer and the chance of success all depends on the individual couple at hand, and it is impossible for one to predict the outcome.

P.

To me, there's a difference between a girlfriend and a wife.

A girlfriend is someone you date. They're temporary. They come and go. They'll spill the beans to get back at you. That's not a good proposition in my opinion.

A wife is someone who you're with for life (I'm old fashioned.) She is your partner in life and magic. There have been many great magic husband and wife teams, so I know it can work.

This is my opinion, and I'm not trying to tell anyone else how to live.

The famous husband and wife teams were usually not married to begin with. They met or was offered an assistant position, then over time things developed into marriage.

The original poster is here asking us, when actually, he should be asking his girl friend. If he thinks he can just make the decision for her he is very wrong. The decision is hers as well as his invitation. And to think he don't have to pay her or pay her as much. Boy - That will go over like a lead balloon.

Actually, one of the best gauges to find out if she will fit your interest, is to take her to a magic shop, and if she wants to leave after 10 minutes, then she is not interested in magic. Another way is to take her to a magic convention, and if she doesn't want to go to most of the scheduled events and is happy when the convention is over, then she is the wrong for the job. She has not interest.

If she does agree, create a few tricks where she is an important part of the trick. A simple silk vanish, and she is holding the balloon that the silk appears in, will be a great trick, and help her feel like she is contributing to the show.

Better question..... why not?

Having married my assistant I think you speak wise words Mr Murphy.

I've worked for/ with couples in the entertainment industry (magic and non magic related shows) and I'm almost always against it.
The man will usually not tell the gf what to do in the same fashion as his other employees... That's simply not fair. The gf also feels like
she is some sort of automatic boss cause her bf is the employer. That really doesn't sit well with me.

I say hire professionals to do the job.

In theory a great idea but often so much easier said than done.