I am in the market for a new assistant. My girlfriend wanted to be my assistant and I think that would be a good thing to have her in my show. It would make rehearsing easier, it would be someone who is easier to deal with, I wouldn't have to pay her as much as a dancer, and we would have a lot of fun going around doing shows. She would also be much more reliable than girls I have used in the past.

What do you guys think about having my girlfriend in my show? I have been told it is a bad idea and to stay away from it but it has been proven to work many times with others. What do you guys think? Any of you used your girlfriend/wife in the show? What are your experiences?

Go for it! Lyndsy and I have a great performing relationship together.

I think you sold yourself already with your own points that you made, which are all valid and strong points. Look at all the husband and wife teams out there that are successful, for some of the very same reasons you mentioned above.

But (there's always a 'but') I would only go this route if you think your relationship is strong enough to last through the trials and tribulations of performing. And remember that if you think your relationship is a fly-by-night thing, then it is always good to have a back up in case things go sour, and working together becomes uncomfortable—you will have another assistant to call upon in an emergency situation. Better to be safe than sorry.

Good luck I'm sure you guys will be great together on the stage!

P.

Peter—
Great, thanks for the input. It was good to hear what you thought. Maybe we will go for it...got nothing to lose because anything would work better than the girl I have been using! Thanks again!

Hi Briansmagic:

I say working with a girlfriend as an assistant is a really bad idea; I've tried it twice through the years and it was a bust each time. I've worked strictly solo for the last 20 years because I don't want to rely on anyone else. But...that's just me—maybe you can handle it better!

Ron

Ron speaks of the 'But' that I was referring to. But I don't think it is a bad idea, I think it can be a great move, but again just as long as you feel that you and your partner can handle this together.

You could always slowly bring her into the show while still keeping your current assistant just to see how things work out for a while.

But there are tons and tons of 'partner' acts. Let's see, you've got: the Pendragons, Jeff Evason and Tessa, The Great Thompsoni and Co., Gold Finger and Dove, Phantasma and Princess Karma, Peter Gossamer, Hans Klock(although I'm not sure they are still together), Ken and Barbie Poynter, Houdini, The Majestics, and let's not forget Seigfried and Roy...lol, there are just countless and countless 'partner' teams out there, and I would be here all day listing them all.

There is a lot of success to be found in 'partner' acts giving you certain advantages and opportunities that you might not otherwise have sometimes. I don't think it's a bad idea, in fact I think it's a great idea, just as long as you are aware that there can be 'Buts'. Just know this going in, and you guys will do fine. Make sure she understands all the 'buts' as well before you begin your performing relationship together.

P.

In any relationship there is "Baggage" from your everyday life that may effect your show. That can't happen. I personally think that the idea is Fantastic and I envy anyone who can do it. However, I've experienced some odd things while working with past Wives. Making sure that their makeup makes it to the gig while your suit didn't.???... Something no assistant would do. You'll be expected to "forgive" mistakes that you'd fire someone else for. Someone said "Don't mix business with pleasure." If your assistant knows the JOB DESCRIPTION and follows it like anyone else would, maybe the clear communication could overcome the pitfalls.
Good Luck
Dave

Being a "girlfriend assistant" I have to say something here...

There are many wonderful things about being a team—you know what the other person wants, expects, and thinks; you can rehearse whenever you want; you're not paying that money out to someone, it stays in the house; you get to travel together; it goes on, BUT (there's that but again) there can be a lot of strain on the relationship too. Some people can't handle all that time together, or simply aren't commited enough to try it out, but if you can communicate well, and treat each other with respect, everything should work out great!

Peter and I have a wonderful wonderful working relationship and it's so much fun!
I say go for it!!!!!

Thanks so much everyone for your input. It is great to hear from all different points of view...all of it really makes sense. And it was REALLY GREAT to hear from Lyndsy...good to hear from someone who is actually in that position. Thanks everyone! I think I will give this a shot.

I'm a little late adding this, but I notice that no one else has mentioned it. If you have a wife or girlfriend and you choose NOT to use her in your show (even though she is willing) but instead hire the prettiest dancer you can find, you may have some real conflict in your future! From that perspective, you may find it easier on your relationship NOT to use an assistant instead of your significant other...

-Reg {*} (who is very happy with his wife as an assistant—hi hon!)

Yes it's good, because she never speaks out his secrets.

But on the other hand, you can't flirt with the girls during your shows any more, when you are doing tricks where audience is involved.

There is always the problem if you break up and she doesn't want to work with you. You have to find someone else and this could be hard.

P.S. I just wanted to add that working with someone you have chemistry with really reflects on stage...it looks a lot better if it's there.

Zaubern,

Thanks for bringing up the good point of showing chemistry to the audience. I never even thought that the natural unstaged chemistry would be seen by the audience. Great point!

It's just my opinion that you shouldn't mix business with pleasure, just my .02 cents

My fiance and I perform together. We have a common interest (and make money) so I think our relationship is healthier.

It really all comes down to trust. Everyone has a unique perspective, and has a unique relationship. What's good for some, isn't good for others. This is a personal decision that no amount of advice can really help!

If you think she is active enough for what your interest are, take the chance.

It's good if it's something she's interested in. Don't twist her arm or beg her to do it.

If your other half is highly interested in it, by all means do it. I have been working with my girlfriend in shows for over a year. But there are a few bits of advice I received from Jeff McBride and others about this, and a few I've learned from experience.

1. Make sure they're comfortable on stage. This is paramount. If they say they want to and they really don't, it'll show. Make sure they're not doing it for you alone.
   
   
2. Teach them some magic, don't just tell them how tricks are done. All assistants should know some magic, if just for their own mental well-being. Also because it's a nice way to show more of a partnership if they are even able to do their own eye popping effect in a show.
   
   
3. Leave it at the door. This means emotional problems, difficulties, etc. you are having with your other half. If BOTH of you can't do this, solve your problem quickly or don't do the show together. Which leads me to my next point, straight from Jeff's mouth.
   
   
4. Make sure you can do your show without your assistant. This is for several reasons: A) if you end the relationship for some reason, you can easily flow into your shows without them, B) in case they get too ill to perform or hurt something and can't perform, it makes doing it much easier to handle.
   
   
5. If you're going to have an assistant, make sure she's involved in the show completely. If this seems contrary to number 4, it really isn't. You should have two versions of the show. Maybe one without your assistant won't be AS strong, but you should work to have it as strong either way. This is why the best magicians are inventive and creative and able to adapt to any situation.

These tips will help you and your assistant become a truly great team.

--Daniel GreenWolf

Brian,

Assuming the ability to pay an assistant is there, whom would you use? If you were a singer, would you want just any band? You have a show to do. Assistants are not dumb, untrained, extra people. They are part of the show. The real question is do they belong in the show? Your show?

I do both, hire assistants and use my significant other. But I've only been doing magic a little over 40 years. (I hope I’m not halfway through yet.) The first 15 we had to hire them although I was married for seven years of it. My spouse was "Too Professional" to be on stage. She was a college dean. It was not a good fit for the show. It worked fine. (And no, there were no extra activities with my assistants. I guess it must have been a boring life to others.) She liked entertainers, but not entertaining.

The next 16 years I had a spouse with an acting and modeling background and excellent stage training. She worked with me when she could and I hired someone else when she could not or the job required it. This too worked fine. It perhaps worked better because I traveled constantly and I did not have to make travel arrangements for an assistant.

Now I am married to the best assistant ever with an extensive ballet and modeling background. But she also has her own show and a medical practice. We can not always work together. Sometimes, I'm her assistant. This works well too. When we play, we play. When we work, we work hard. Often, magic is play and/or work. We consider magic conventions together playtime.

My message is still consistent. The show needs to be the best show you can deliver. And your personal relationship needs to be the best one you can deliver also. They may or may not fit. That can be sometimes, always and never. Lucy (my wife) and Pam (Johnny Thompson’s wife) agree that it is nice for a magician’s assistant to own her own magician. We like it!

Bob Sanders
Magic By Sander

Sorry, but I'd have to agree with the naysayers in this situation. I'd be too worried that my relationship would get in the way of my job, or that we'd break up and I'd lose my magician/assistant (frankly, I'm ready to work in either direction). I also wouldn't work for any hot guys (You Know Who excluded), because men tend to get just as jealous as women sometimes.