The Magic Café
Username:
Password:
[ Lost Password ]
  [ Forgot Username ]
The Magic Cafe Forum Index :: Now that’s funny! :: Some corny jokes (6 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

Good to here.
 Go to page [Previous]  1~2~3..26..49..72..95..116~117~118~119~120..126..131..136..141..146..148~149~150 [Next]
Bill Ligon
View Profile
Inner circle
A sure sign of a misspent youth:
6437 Posts

Profile of Bill Ligon
Artifacts are a major portion of an American-Indian reser-
vation's economy. Annually, thousands of tourists visit
reservations and most will not leave without purchasing at
least one memento of the traditional Indian culture.

One enterprising Indian was able to outsell his competitors
in the sale of wooden dolls by selling them at only a
fraction of the cost others had to charge. On examination
of his dolls they found that where traditionally hard wood
was used, this Indian would use cheap pine on which he glued
thin pieces of fine mahogany, thus being able to produce
the dolls at only a fraction of the cost.

While he claimed his dolls were still authentic, his com-
petitors complained that it was only a cheap Sioux Veneer.
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE
joseph
View Profile
Eternal Order
Please ignore my
17424 Posts

Profile of joseph
George Washington and Martha were walking past Ben Franklin's house, when George noticed a giant wreath on the front door...
"What is that thing on the door, Martha?"...
"Oh, that's a wreath of Franklin's"...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Dynamike
View Profile
Eternal Order
FullTimer
24148 Posts

Profile of Dynamike
Check out this April Fool gag thread: http://www.themagiccafe.com/forums/viewt......um=15&36
joseph
View Profile
Eternal Order
Please ignore my
17424 Posts

Profile of joseph
A penguin walks into a bar, goes to the counter, and asks the bartender, "Have you seen my brother?" The bartender says, "I don't know. What does he look like?" ...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Eric Lott
View Profile
New user
Michigan
85 Posts

Profile of Eric Lott
Quote:
On 2009-03-12 18:07, Bill Ligon wrote:
I saw this man the other day with a penguin, he was
looking sad. I asked him what he was doing with a
penguin and he said that he had found it. I told him
to take it to the Zoo. And with that he left.

I saw him again this morning he was still with the
penguin, this time with a smile on his face. I asked
him about the penguin and if he had taken it to the Zoo.

He said, "Yes I did that yesterday, today we are going
to a magic show."

Bill, I don't know what it is about this joke, but I laughed harder than I have laughed in a LONG time. I think this has become my new favorite joke. Thank you!
B Hackler
View Profile
Special user
778 Posts

Profile of B Hackler
Why is six afraid of seven?

because seven eight nine.
joseph
View Profile
Eternal Order
Please ignore my
17424 Posts

Profile of joseph
Did you hear about the weekly poker game with Vasco da Gama, Christopher Columbus, Leif Eriksson and Francisco Pizarro? They can never seem to beat the Straights of Magellan...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Bill Ligon
View Profile
Inner circle
A sure sign of a misspent youth:
6437 Posts

Profile of Bill Ligon
When I was a kid I wanted to be a comedy magician, but everybody laughed at me!
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE
Eric Woods
View Profile
Regular user
Kansas City
115 Posts

Profile of Eric Woods
A Rabbi, Preacher and a Monk walk into a bar, the bartender looks at them and asks "Is this some kind of a joke?"
joseph
View Profile
Eternal Order
Please ignore my
17424 Posts

Profile of joseph
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Eric Woods
View Profile
Regular user
Kansas City
115 Posts

Profile of Eric Woods
What did the ocean say to the boat? Nothing it just waved.
joseph
View Profile
Eternal Order
Please ignore my
17424 Posts

Profile of joseph
Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund?
Someone told him to get a long little doggy...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Bill Ligon
View Profile
Inner circle
A sure sign of a misspent youth:
6437 Posts

Profile of Bill Ligon
Lots of people play bridge, but it takes a cannibal to throw up a hand.
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE
ed rhodes
View Profile
Inner circle
Rhode Island
2889 Posts

Profile of ed rhodes
The failed performer finally went to a psychiatrist to talk over his problem.

"Why am I such a failure as a performer!" He asked.

"There are two reasons why you are a failure." said the Doctor. "The first is that you have a deep-seated lack of self esteem."

"What is the second?" the man asked.

"You also have a deep-seated lack of talent!"
"...and if you're too afraid of goin' astray, you won't go anywhere." - Granny Weatherwax
Bill Ligon
View Profile
Inner circle
A sure sign of a misspent youth:
6437 Posts

Profile of Bill Ligon
Ha-ha! Good one! I caught me by surprise.

Bill
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE
trickytrav
View Profile
Veteran user
391 Posts

Profile of trickytrav
I went to the doctors this morning for an examination.The doctor told me I had to stop masturbating and I asked why.He said because I'm trying to examine you.
Eric Woods
View Profile
Regular user
Kansas City
115 Posts

Profile of Eric Woods
What might you find in a burned down barn? Crispy Critters.
joseph
View Profile
Eternal Order
Please ignore my
17424 Posts

Profile of joseph
The nurse said to the doctor, "There's an invisible man in the waiting room." The doctor replied, "Tell him I can't see him now." ...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
ed rhodes
View Profile
Inner circle
Rhode Island
2889 Posts

Profile of ed rhodes
Two Native Americans, Falling Rocks and Running Deer are vying for the hand of the chief's daughter. Finally the chief says the brave who can bring back the most pelts will win. Both braves leave the camp. Six months later, Running Deer comes back with 300 beaver pelts. As Falling Rocks never comes back, Running Deer wins the hand of the chief's daughter. Falling Rocks is never seen again. To this day, throughout Southern California, you will see signs that read; "Watch Out For Falling Rocks."
"...and if you're too afraid of goin' astray, you won't go anywhere." - Granny Weatherwax
Eric Woods
View Profile
Regular user
Kansas City
115 Posts

Profile of Eric Woods
Some beer drinking buddies were hunting for deer. They saw a sign that said "Deer Left" so they went home.