It is frustrating. I live in the states but have daughter and family in B.C.
I can send a package by our postal service and the cost isn't too bad but the delivery time is anyone's guess.
I can send a package by UPS and it will get there in 4 business days but then also have to pay the duty fee.
Which makes me wonder why the postal service package gets to avoid the duty fee?
The shipping cost is always more than the package's worth.

When I can I will buy from Canadian companies and avoid some of that nuisance.

Steve it is also based on value, and the items contained. DO NOT confuse DUTY CHARGES charged by Revenue Canada with SERVICE CHARGES by UPS.

While I have never verified from "your side" but if you send a gift via UPS of about $100 USD your family will be charged a service fee by UPS of $29.50 this is a UPS fee (from their website) if using their standard service. If the same item is sent by post you may only be charged $9.95 if it even goes though our Canadian customs, many times it would seem Canada Post just lets it pass through if a low value gift. Again these are not duties, but service fees.

UPS fees are also on a sliding scale, the service fee PLUS a percentage of the value of the merchandise shipped. These fees apply even if a magic item. I have brought items worth thousands in by post and have only had to pay the $9.95 and the provincial sales taxes on the Canadian value as magic items are duty free.

If by post and your package has dutiable items in it, and the package is over a certain value, Revenue Canada will charge you duty, provincial sales tax on the Canadian value of the items, plus a $9.95 service fee.

Blair