...for naughty balloons! What I hate even more is when adults ask me for X rated stuff on KIDS NIGHT at my restaurant. It seems to be happening more and more as of the start to this year. Happened twice this evening. I explained that I'm a father of two daughters and I would never make anything that I wouldn't make for my own children. THEY were the ones who got all in a snit over it...like I'm supposed to just roll over and make all of this nasty X rated balloon stuff with a restaurant full of children...REALLY?

Sorry for ranting...I'm just very irked right now!

Not a problem chris sometimes you got to let it out

I know how you feel, and I agree with you. I have the same problem at some of my restaurants. I have even had some of the same patrons trying to invision something x-rated out of some otherwise innocent sculpture.

Did a family night for years at a bar/restaurant. Biggest problem was the limo of young ladies who arrived to kick-off the bachlorette party.

My boyfriend prefers to perform for adults, but he says one gig he will always turn down is a bachlorette party. He has heard too many horror stories about magicians being hired for those things and the crap that happens.

What really irks me (nothing I can do about it) is a "social club" (wink wink) comes in every Tuesday Night which is Kids Night. They pretty much take over the back dining room but there's so many of them they end up flowing out into the main "prime time" areas. They are the offenders (in more ways than one) usually and it just bugs me to know end...but they bring a ton of money into the restaurant so I can't really say anything about it. A while back one of them did pay me a nice complement and then killed it by grabbing my....

Never felt so dirty in my entire life!

I wonder if that happens more to men, like maybe it would be too obvious not to do that to a lady, either way that is unacceptable. A guy OR lady better never try to touch my chest or they will have to have a proctologist remove a balloon from an unpleasant place.

Giving a reason or justification for not doing the XXX request is not needed and just fans the flames of a "clever" retort from them. I have found a simple "not tonight" or "hire me for your party and I will" stops the conversation. Most of the time the instigators don't expect you to do it, they are just trying to be funny (aka: !@#$%^&es) in front of their friends.

That's just it tho' Wes...

I have never, nor will I ever make anything that is questionable. I know that some do and that's their business, but I believe that balloon entertainment is a FAMILY industry. I don't want to lead these people on with a "not tonight" or "hire me for your party and I will" type of response. I'd rather just nip it in the bud and be done with it to send the clear message that I don't appreciate being asked.

I do see what you're saying tho, it just creeps me out thinking about it.... (yeeeeeesh!)

The best line I have heard for XXX requests is.

"Sorry I can't"

I had waitress ask me to make her something inappropriate. After several weeks of ignoring the request I finally told her I would have to give her that one in private. She never asked again. I am also I father of two daughters. I too would never make the xxx stuff. They sell those balloons at the adult novelty stores and they don't pop as easy.

I don't know any x-rated models, and in a family environment I would not make them even if I did. However I think that the way you answered might have got their backs up. A firm no with a sense of humour might kill the requests.

I am often asked by men can I make them a woman. I say no, but I can make them a Ferrari, and they should be able to get a woman on their own. I then blow up one balloon, twist it into a circle, tell them it is the first tyre, and I will make the rest of the car tomorrow, when they are not there. I get the laugh, they do not get the adult model. End of situation, generally.

I think that your response about having two daughters makes you appear sanctimonious, even if you are not. Might be something to think about.

Deflective lines:

Only after 9pm ... I leave at 8:30

A p*nis? Really? they all look like that.

Best one I had was a Guy asked for a big D*ck.... so I made Richard Nixon!


My Thursday Friday Saturday is a morphing gig ... starts out families and ends up adult drunks... 9pm rule applies, if no kids present.

I'll make strippers on poles or mermaids with nipples and that is about it.

If some one grabbed my junk I would say " that deserves at least a $100 tip" I don't mind dealing with drunks I treat them like the rude children they are .... and they love it! Must be the stand up comedian in me that like to fry a heckler every once in a while.

Being asked X-rated balloons has happened to me a few times too...and I hated it so much !
First, it was so unexpected that I was at a loss what to reply. Second, twisting what had been asked was out of the question so I had to find an answer, but could not really show how angry it made me.
It was a Christmas gig with more adults than kids, but I had been hired to entertain the kids, I was dressed as an elf, was "behaving" as an elf and was totally unprepared for those queries.
I found it so insulting...
Anyway, it always resulted in my answering "I can't".

But I'm considering building some kind of silly story about how people who ask such things end up for instance, in the North Pole jail, because it's forbidden in Elfland and Santa is very strict on that subject. Just to make them feel I'm so childish that it's hopeless.

But Chris, maybe the ladies are asking because they get that funny feeling when they check you out.

Becareful how you say that Preston.