Q: What is the difference between a stage magician and his parrot?
A: One of them is loud and obnoxious. The other one is a bird.

Taco, my talking toucan use to work for another magician but left. WHY? Because that guy had a fly by night operation. How did Taco leave? Oh, He flew the coup.
Just in case you are wondering, Taco is an eagle alien.

Q; What does a 100 pound canary say?
A: "Here kitty, kitty...."

I dunno if this is a joke but... has it ocurred to anyone else who lives with a Macaw that the word "Macaw" is probably an onomatopoeia?

Ono... mato,,, what??? don't make me look that up...LOL....

Ok I looked it up.... as in Snap crackle pop.... McCaw almost sounds like a crow. Ever noticed you never see dead crows by or on the road. Cuz.... while one is on the road eating the road kill the other is on the telephone line saying,,,,,, ((here it comes)) wait for it)))..... Car.. Car. Thanks for adding on guys. The wife has been hitting me up with tons of Magician jokes on facebook today... SORRY.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To prove to possums that it can be done.

What do you call dog with no legs? it doesn't matter he won't come.

This one is more for the adult crowd.

There was this lady who had 2 dogs that she had for 20+ years & she was very attached to. Both dogs passed away on the same day, she was wanted to keep the dogs around her because she loved them so much. So she decided to take them to a taxidermist & asked the taxidermist if he could stuff the dogs, which he replied "sure". The taxidermist asked the woman if she wanted to have the dogs mounted also. She said "no, just shaking hands, they really weren't THAT close!

That has never occurred to me….

What did the Magician say when he made his rabbit disappear?

Hare today, gone tomorrow.