Your Magician Might be a redneck if;
His back ground music is a Hank Williams tune
He had a spit cup on stage.
His favorite trick is "Pull my finger."
He has a Copenhagen ring on the back of his tux pants.
People accuse him of lying through his tooth.
Instead of live animals, he uses road kill.
Most of his equipment is made from road cones and spools.
His assistant is wearing cut offs and a halter top.
Instead of a rabbit, he pulls a possum out of his hat
All of his cards say Coors or Budweiser on the back.
Uses a Chain saw to cut a lady in half.
His parol office is in the audience.
Instead of the milk can escape he uses a keg.
He is billed as Bubba the Great.
He does the bullet catch with a sawed off shot gun.
Instead of a rope escape he uses duct tape.
His stomach hangs 5 inches over his belt.
For a grand finale he pulls a rabbit from behind his belt buckle.
All of his props are painted primer grey.
His top hat says John Deer on the front.
All his magic supplies are from the dollar store.
His zippers don't have teeth either.
His big escape is from a sleeper hold.
Uses a stuffed deer head at least twice in his act.
He has Houdini tattooed on his arm.
If his big debut show was the prison rodeo.
If, for his grand finale, he levitates the rear end of a beat up '75 Camaro to the proper height for "cruising"
If he uses the word "supposably" in his patter
His card to wallet has a chain on it
If he refers to the other side of the stage as "yonder"
If his two assistants are Daryl and his other brother Daryl
His exit theme is the music from the end of the Beverly Hillbillies, "Ya'll come back now, Y'hear"
His tie is made of leather, silver and turquoise
He has a Bud Light pool table light hanging over his table
He has STP stickers on his magic table
He steals Tolet paper from the restroom before the show
He takes beer and jerky as payment for a show
If he has ever done a show at the Waffle House
If he dips snuff during his show
His Shirt has no sleeves.
He keeps saying, "this one I learned in the Joint."
He has his mother as an assistant and calls her honey.
He is in a hurry "Cus' I gotta get home fer wresting."
He says "I got dis one outta Outdoor Life."
He smokes during the entire show
He has a can of "Bud" on his platform.
He has ever eaten one of his Doves or Rabbits
He thinks sleeving is something you do when you have a cold
He thinks he has to disrobe to do a stripper deck
He looses a thumb tip wile picking his nose
He thinks the Vernon Cronicles is a PBS special
He thinks the square circle is a good ol' boy's bar
He thinks the mis-made flag is something Betsy Ross did stoned
He thinks Twisted Sister is some girls he used to know
He thinks the Needle through the Arm is something done by a clumsy Seamstress
He thinks an egg bag is an old lady who raises chickens
He thinks a flase cut is a noise made under your arm pit using your hand
He thinks Copper & Silver was an episode of America's most wanted
He says that the Multiplying Rabbits is just an act of nature
He Thinks the French Arm chopper is something he saw on home shoping network for $19.99
He thinks Bro. John Hamman might be the name of the guy who plays the organ in church on Sundays...
If he has ever doubled the tail gate of your truck as a close up table/wet bar.
If he has ever vanished a coin into a bandana that was previously wrapped around your head and covered with a cowboy hat.
If you have ever performed shot glass surprise repeatedly until you amazingly vanish your dignity and or consciousness.
If he has ever opened for a Hank Williams Jr concert.
If the coin He pulled out of your ear was sticky
If he has blown his nose on his silks
He broke your arm doing the Arm twisting illusion
He pulls road kill out of a hat
He can't perform card to wallet because the chain is too short.
He can't do a book test because he don't know how to read "them big ol' words."
He does a spirit box effect using an Out House.
He does multiplying Rocky Mt. Oysters.
WR