Here's some jokes I use when making balloons for the waiting kids!

When someone wants a motor-bike. You blow up a balloon, give it to them and say, "an exhaust pipe". (Then you make then a motor bike.)

When someone says, make me anything. You just give them a unblown balloon and say, "here's a wiggley worm".

When making a single balloon hat! Turn it upside down and say, "a pair of underpants".

here's dog balloon joke!
What happened to the dog who walked between 4 trees? He didn't have a leg to stand on!

Elephant joke!
What do you call a elephant who doesn't have a bath? A smelly-phant.

Giraffe Joke!
Why do Giraffe's have long necks? smelly feet.

In Jeff Hobson Live there are some good jokes, as well as some gags in 20 Minutes With A Balloon.

Here are my 3 favourite one-liners if the balloon explodes :-

It was going to be a sausage dog but now its a banger! (does this make sense in US?)

It was going to be a weasel but it went pop!

It was going to be a parrot but now its a polygon!

Nigel

Most of us over here wouldn't have a clue, even if you added the mash part. They would understand the "bang", but miss the double-entendre.

My favorite 'pop' line, among many, is, "Wow, you're a sharp kid!"

My favorite balloon line of all, not just for pops: When making a snake with a spiral body, let all the air back out after blowing it up once, and looking sad, offering them the empty balloon, and saying, "How about a worm?"

A follow up the to the worm line is to puff a little air into the middle and say "it's a worm that's eaten an apple" (or a pregnant worm depending on the crowd).

I used to claim I was making a weasel when they popped. I had a bad run and a few burst in the space of 10 minutes and I kept saying "Och, another weasel" a little girl came up to me and said "You should stop trying to make weasels you're really bad at making them".

My favourtie line when a balloon pops is saying "It's a good job it wasn't a real dog (or whatever I'm making) ,think of the mess!". I think I got that one from http://www.balloonhq.com they have quite a comprehensive list of balloon one-liners.

George

When making a pink dog:

"I could have used HOT pink, but then it would have been a HOT DOG."

When asked how I learned to sculpt balloons...........
I learned the balloon basics during a work release program.

(When a balloon breaks.)
That's what would happen if your father did this.......now watch as I do it the right way.

All pops, no moms !

Here's one of my favorites that never fails to get a Laugh, (or GROAN!).
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-Great "EARS" Line-

When you get to the Ears part of the animal you are twisting say,

"And now we make the ears.
It is VERY Important to make the ears.

Last week I made a (name the animal you are making),
and I forgot to make his ears."

(Pause and then say)

"I told him I was sorry, but I guess he didn't HEAR ME!"
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*~*hahahaha*~* I just LOVE that Line!!!

=Frank=

It was funny the other day making balloons at a Mall someone said' "Boy you are good, I bet you can do that in your sleep". I thought about it for a second and then said, "YES! But I'm scared to wake up.... In the morning will my wife be a cute little teddy bear. an elegant swan or a grumpy old DRAGON."!!! It did get a laugh.

On the side I bought a DVD "secret seminars of magic with by patrick Page". he had some funny balloon business in there which could be helpful for someone who is starting out. And a cool silk trick too.

Carl,

That line is hilarious. Beautiful..