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TheMag1cian
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Inner circle
Ottawa, Ontario
1276 Posts

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I thought I'd initiate a thread that touches on strolling for a family event or an event hosted by close friends. I'm often asked by people who are close if I could do some tricks/effects for weddings, birthdays, bachelor parties, etc. (Of course I like to relax and have some drinks too so I perform for only the beginning of the night). As we all know performing for people close to you is no easy task. The same effect I have at a restaurant where I make a lady scream in amazement receives an "aww cute" with raised eyebrows at a family dinner or event. As my mom likes to put it "I gave birth to you, so I know you're not actually magic". They've now seen so many of my tricks that they believe they know how half of them are done and have become increasingly hypersensitive on "figuring them out". The purpose of this post is to get some more ideas for performing for those who are extremely close to you. Aside from having to find new tricks/effects every venue because, well, they've seen pretty much everything, what types of tricks/effects would you suggest given these circumstances. Criteria: Multiple outs, very visual/attention grabbing, preferably non-card (unless you have something extraordinary) because I have a ton and am working on a ton. I need stuff for the weary Uncle, the grandfather who does not care to be fooled, the analytic Grandmother, the suspicious brother and the skeptical mother in law. Just picture yourself at your grandparents 50th wedding anniversary and everyone knows you. Also in the criteria would be to "end clean". My family is huge on checking every crevice of me directly after an effect. I understand that performing for family/friends is no easy task and not recommended but I don't have the heart to say no when asked.

I look forward to your suggestions,

Jeff
slyhand
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Good ole Virginia
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I just want to make sure I have this clear.

They want and ask you to perform but also want to make it hard for you and react with a blase attitude.

If that were my situation I would not do anything for them.

It's very hard to answer your question as I do not know your skill level as in slights, misdirection or presentation.

However to answer your question as to what you could do if you are going to perform for them anyway would be mentalism if you have the chops.
I am getting so tired of slitting the throats of people who say that I am a violent psychopath.

Alec
Dick Oslund
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"...the prophet in his home town..." etc.

Nate Leipzig made it a practice never to be eager to perform at affairs like you describe. He waited until he was asked several times, and maybe one more time after THAT. Then, he would do a trick or two. He then, watched the ladies. At the slightest and first indication that they had 'had enough', he QUIT. In your situation, at the first 'challenge' or comment, such as: "I know how you do that." Or, let me see that deck!" etc. QUIT!

There is a classic 'anecdote' from a story by Somerset Maugham (in the '20s, I believe) >>>

The scene is a cocktail party. A young lady says to her friend, "See that man over there in the tuxedo? He asked if I liked card tricks. I said, 'no'. He did six!"

Trying to perform for your peers (who've known you since you wore diapers)is not the easiest thing.

I would suggest that you do ONE trick. and quit! ALWAYS LEAVE AN AUDIENCE WANTING MORE!!!!! (Read the line above about Nate Leipzig, again.)

If you allow them to body search you after a trick--that's 'YOUR' problem! You are a performer (I hope)not an accused prisoner!
SNEAKY, UNDERHANDED, DEVIOUS,& SURREPTITIOUS ITINERANT MOUNTEBANK
Dick Oslund
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"...the prophet in his home town..." etc.

Nate Leipzig made it a practice never to be eager to perform at affairs like you describe. He waited until he was asked several times, and maybe one more time after THAT. Then, he would do a trick or two. He then, watched the ladies. At the slightest and first indication that they had 'had enough', he QUIT. In your situation, at the first 'challenge' or comment, such as: "I know how you do that." Or, let me see that deck!" etc. QUIT!

There is a classic 'anecdote' from a story by Somerset Maugham (in the '20s, I believe) >>>

The scene is a cocktail party. A young lady says to her friend, "See that man over there in the tuxedo? He asked if I liked card tricks. I said, 'no'. He did six!"

Trying to perform for your peers (who've known you since you wore diapers)is not the easiest thing.

I would suggest that you do ONE trick. and quit! ALWAYS LEAVE AN AUDIENCE WANTING MORE!!!!! (Read the line above about Nate Leipzig, again.)

If you allow them to body search you after a trick--that's 'YOUR' problem! You are a performer (I hope)not an accused prisoner!
SNEAKY, UNDERHANDED, DEVIOUS,& SURREPTITIOUS ITINERANT MOUNTEBANK
davidpaul$
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Georgetown, South Carolina
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What slyhand said... I never initiate performances at family functions...If asked, I'll do something quick and quit. I then enjoy the party. It's funny in that family will often stop into the restaurant to see me perform.

I believe if you are too anxious to show effects people become more scrutinizing and you don't come off as professional. You're more of a tricky guy than a "Magician"... The attitudes people have towards you are much different.

Note.. I posted the above before I read Dick Oslund's comments... Golden information
Guilt will betray you before technique betrays you!
Dick Oslund
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Right on the mark, David! Too often, magicians are too eager to 'do something'! You've said it very well!
SNEAKY, UNDERHANDED, DEVIOUS,& SURREPTITIOUS ITINERANT MOUNTEBANK
TheMag1cian
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Ottawa, Ontario
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Quote:
On 2013-04-08 09:22, slyhand wrote:
I just want to make sure I have this clear.

They want and ask you to perform but also want to make it hard for you and react with a blase attitude.

If that were my situation I would not do anything for them.

It's very hard to answer your question as I do not know your skill level as in slights, misdirection or presentation.

However to answer your question as to what you could do if you are going to perform for them anyway would be mentalism if you have the chops.


It's like they want to see the trick and seemingly enjoy it but since Im in close ties with them they believe they're entitled to all of the answers or that they've known me my whole life and should be able to figure it out. I don't believe they're trying to give me a hard time at all. My skill levels are rather high. I've been doing magic for many many years. I know how to not "trick" people, but rather involve them and/or make it about them or something personal and interesting in their life. I've been leaning more towards mentalism (as many of us are) and that may indeed be the answer to this issue.
Thanks for your input.

Jeff
TheMag1cian
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Ottawa, Ontario
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Quote:
On 2013-04-08 09:43, Dick Oslund wrote:
"...the prophet in his home town..." etc.

Nate Leipzig made it a practice never to be eager to perform at affairs like you describe. He waited until he was asked several times, and maybe one more time after THAT. Then, he would do a trick or two. He then, watched the ladies. At the slightest and first indication that they had 'had enough', he QUIT. In your situation, at the first 'challenge' or comment, such as: "I know how you do that." Or, let me see that deck!" etc. QUIT!

There is a classic 'anecdote' from a story by Somerset Maugham (in the '20s, I believe) >>>

The scene is a cocktail party. A young lady says to her friend, "See that man over there in the tuxedo? He asked if I liked card tricks. I said, 'no'. He did six!"

Trying to perform for your peers (who've known you since you wore diapers)is not the easiest thing.

I would suggest that you do ONE trick. and quit! ALWAYS LEAVE AN AUDIENCE WANTING MORE!!!!! (Read the line above about Nate Leipzig, again.)

If you allow them to body search you after a trick--that's 'YOUR' problem! You are a performer (I hope)not an accused prisoner!


Thank you for your insight Dick. Very much appreciated. I may indeed be guilty of being eager to impress my family/friends more and I certainely do more than one trick. This may in fact be a large issue I need to work on.

Jeff
Paddy
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Milford OH
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When family or friends ask me to perform at events the first thing out of my mouth is my hourly rate. And I do NOT discount for family or friends. Remember that anything "free" is worth exactly what was paid for it. I find that they respect my value as an entertainer when I charge for it.
Non Impediti Ratione Cogitationis

I reject your reality & substitute my own

http://www.Scho-Lan.com
Dannydoyle
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Eternal Order
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Doing magic to try to impress anyone much less your family puts across the wrong attitude.

Allow me an analogy that nobody should be offended by. I train dogs As a hobby. When you have a dog on the leash every feeling you have of frustration is translated trhough the leash to the dog. They feel it and if you approach another dog and are nervous then the dog is nervous.

This applies to us in the following way. Since so few of us are trained actors amd since so many of learn only from books on magic the problem becomes hiding our emotions. If you are trying to impress as you admit they may be reacting differently because this is not how you perform for other audiences. Your "need" to impress those close to you may have them reacting differently.

While I agree and I really don't work for those close to me I think the root of the problem can be found in ourselves.

Just some thoughts.
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus
<BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell
Dick Oslund
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Some really worthwhile thoughts to contemplate, Danny. Thanks for contributing them.
SNEAKY, UNDERHANDED, DEVIOUS,& SURREPTITIOUS ITINERANT MOUNTEBANK
Mary Mowder
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Sacramento / Elk Grove, CA
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There are many card effects where the spectator finds the card and such. I'm sure you know a few.

Have the spectator do the Magic, you ask for a round of applause for them and tell the audience not to bother asking Grandma how she did it because now that she's a Magician, she's not telling and we have a tough union.

Do a clear gag like 52 on one.

Do a fun rope effect and include toss a knot on the rope (the hard way) the Rope Mosquito as an ending. Let interested parties try to do the toss a knot and Mosquito in a prescribed area clear of breakables (or outside). Give them enough instruction to get them started but don't stay to coach.

Go have a drink. Give encouraging nods from a distance as folks succeed or nearly succeed. Remember to retrieve your Rope if you are fond of them as I am.

-Mary Mowder
Dannydoyle
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Eternal Order
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Quote:
On 2013-04-08 13:10, Dick Oslund wrote:
Some really worthwhile thoughts to contemplate, Danny. Thanks for contributing them.


Thank you so much sir. I think that too often we only look for examples within the magic literature and quite often the answer lies in other less obvious places.
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus
<BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell
Christopher Lyle
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Dallas, Texas
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Well said Danny! Nothing much more to add except to say that I "never" perform at these events...at least not for free. If they want to book me, then that's one thing. If I'm at a family wedding, then I am there to celebrate the event...not to attempt to steal the attention away from the bride and groom. If asked, I polity decline, hand them my card, and invite them to come out to any of my restaurant, that I'm there just to enjoy the moment.

Kind of like if you're a plumber...would they expect you to fix the toilet?
In Mystery,


Christopher Lyle
Magician, Comic, Daredevil, and Balloon Twisting Genius
For a Good Time...CLICK HERE!
TheMag1cian
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Inner circle
Ottawa, Ontario
1276 Posts

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Quote:
On 2013-04-08 12:35, Dannydoyle wrote:
Doing magic to try to impress anyone much less your family puts across the wrong attitude.

Allow me an analogy that nobody should be offended by. I train dogs As a hobby. When you have a dog on the leash every feeling you have of frustration is translated trhough the leash to the dog. They feel it and if you approach another dog and are nervous then the dog is nervous.

This applies to us in the following way. Since so few of us are trained actors amd since so many of learn only from books on magic the problem becomes hiding our emotions. If you are trying to impress as you admit they may be reacting differently because this is not how you perform for other audiences. Your "need" to impress those close to you may have them reacting differently.

While I agree and I really don't work for those close to me I think the root of the problem can be found in ourselves.

Just some thoughts.


I totally agree. There's more emotion and subjectivity in my performances with family. In contrast, I take a more professional, objective approach with other audiences. Excellent analogy and inout. Thank you.
TheMag1cian
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Ottawa, Ontario
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Quote:
On 2013-04-08 13:59, Mary Mowder wrote:
There are many card effects where the spectator finds the card and such. I'm sure you know a few.

Have the spectator do the Magic, you ask for a round of applause for them and tell the audience not to bother asking Grandma how she did it because now that she's a Magician, she's not telling and we have a tough union.

Do a clear gag like 52 on one.

Do a fun rope effect and include toss a knot on the rope (the hard way) the Rope Mosquito as an ending. Let interested parties try to do the toss a knot and Mosquito in a prescribed area clear of breakables (or outside). Give them enough instruction to get them started but don't stay to coach.

Go have a drink. Give encouraging nods from a distance as folks succeed or nearly succeed. Remember to retrieve your Rope if you are fond of them as I am.

-Mary Mowder


Very very nice ideas Mary! ALmost every one of my card tricks involves the spectator becoming the magician. Example, I very much enjoy Search and Destroy by Aaron Fisher for this. They do all the handling, all the cutting and ultimatly create the little miracle. I really do need to get in to more rope routines. This seems to be a unanimous opinion Ive had here in the Café. Ive got Fiber Optics and Ring Leader .. I think its time to dive in to them. Also, I think its time I seek threads on effects like this (ultimate spectator participation routines).

Thanks Mary. Very helpful!!
TheMag1cian
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Ottawa, Ontario
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Quote:
On 2013-04-08 14:09, Christopher Lyle wrote:
Well said Danny! Nothing much more to add except to say that I "never" perform at these events...at least not for free. If they want to book me, then that's one thing. If I'm at a family wedding, then I am there to celebrate the event...not to attempt to steal the attention away from the bride and groom. If asked, I polity decline, hand them my card, and invite them to come out to any of my restaurant, that I'm there just to enjoy the moment.

Kind of like if you're a plumber...would they expect you to fix the toilet?


Well said Lyle. I suppose I just don't want to sound like a downer. My biggest fault is that Im a people pleaser. I just cant look at my 75 year old grandmother as shes asking if I can do some magic at my grandpas upcoming b-day and say "No" while giving her my card. I think she may actually cry if I did that Smile. Instead Ive been seeking ways (better routines tailored to family/friends for it to work as illustarted in Mary's message. I am rethinking this whole context for performing though. Thanks for your input Lyle.
Dannydoyle
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I am glad everyone took the analogy right. Comparing us with dogs as an example is frought with peril.
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus
<BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell
slyhand
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Good ole Virginia
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Quote:
On 2013-04-08 14:22, Dannydoyle wrote:
I am glad everyone took the analogy right. Comparing us with dogs as an example is frought with peril.


You are right, it is fraught with peril.
Dogs are nicer, better behaved and more loyal. And many actually smell better.
I am getting so tired of slitting the throats of people who say that I am a violent psychopath.

Alec
Mary Mowder
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Sacramento / Elk Grove, CA
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TheMag1cian,

I'd like to suggest The Dennis Loomis Knot Routine ...Plus! DVD

Not only because Dick Oslund and myself make a brief appearance but because Dennis has lots of effects that are great one at a time.
These one at a time effects are great fun to play with in the halls of a Magic Convention if you run into a tangle of Rope folks.

Both Tossing a Knot on a Rope and the Mosquito are included as well as many others.

Go to the "Knots and Loops" forum for many more suggestions.

-Mary Mowder