Hi good people of the café,

my name is Alex and I am from oversea's in Germany!
After years of lurking in the shadows, always looking through the café for latest discussions about the world of magic, I have finally decided it was time to join in on the fun (so to speak).

When I was a kid, David Copperfield (duh!) introduced me to the wonderful world of magic.
I have grown up in a rather poor family (financially) but one thing my parents would make possible for me, was to see David Copperfield live in Berlin once, after I would watch his taped TV specials over and over like other kids would watch cartoon or something.
I was about five, so my memories about it are hazy but what little I remember, I keep dear to my heart.

Nonetheless: Copperfield awakened my love for magic.
Because I did not know how to do magic, though, I would go on and ... entertain... my family with imaginary magic shows, where I would copy his moves and hum the background music of his illusions, all the while fumbeling empty air, doing stuff only my imagination could see ... of course they had to applaud for those grand illusions I was showing them!
It would be half a decade before I came across my first real card trick in person. It was at a school event and a class mates father would show us a simple trick, where the card seemed to change into a selection beneath a spectators hand (Double Lift standard procedure).
My mind literally exploded and for months, I would ask (more like beg) him, to teach me that trick.

Which he declined again and again. He learned it from a friend, who was a magician. Magicians code forbade him.

In 2002 my family was getting ready to move to a different Bundesland (state) in Germany.
As a parting gift (because I was really close friends with his daughter, I think) he eventually decided to show me how he did it.

The door was finally open. Seemingly.
Because I was 12 and really had no idea, how to get further into the subject ... that double lift trick would be everything I knew about card magic for almost six more years.
Than, when I was older ... I suddenly had a computer ... and the internet became a thing in my life.

I found Dan and Dave, I found Ellusionist.
Theory 11 came along. I stumbled upon cardistry.
What follows was, what I like to call, "the gold rush" of magic for me.
DvDs, books, single tricks, gimmicks, streaming. For years I would dive into the world of card magic, like there was nothing else. Learning, studying, honing the craft.
I would literally hold a deck of cards in my hand, every waking moment I had.
I remember, that during my apprenticeship, I had to fly out to spain to work abroad in a hotel. I would carry literally 20 decks of cards (one design for each state of mind, I guess...) in my hand luggage on the airport.
Security was looking kinda awkwardly on their screens. Oh well ...

Unfortunately, I worked myself into a corner ... because for all that material I gave myself access to; for all those hours upon hours of learning und practising ... I almost never performed a single thing for anybody.
Sure, there was a performance here and there for family. Mainly simple stuff, involving Keycards or a glide, at most.
I remember doing the Biddle Trick once. All of those performing experiences where grand, not gonna lie.
But in the end ... I can count on ten fingers, how many tricks I have shown to people in my time studying all of this.

As a consequence ... at some point, live came in the way ... and because I would never perform for people (actively declining it, to be honest!) I dropped out of card magic completely. Why bother, right?
My entire Deck- and Magic-Collection would sit neatly arranged in a large glassshelf to look at ... but I would do nothing with it, while being sad about a hobby that had seemingly fallen out of my hands .. and my life.
That was about 11 years ago.

Two years ago, things changed.
I am 35 now, married, had a kid and a second is on its way ... lately I have found myself getting sucked into that magic vortex again.
The feeling of having a deck in my hands again, is marvelous.
I was starting to buy stuff again (evil shiny object syndrome...) and when my wife finally asked if I was seriously considering, doing the card magic thing again ... it kind of dawned on me.

I have kids now ... I want to, at least, be able to show my own kids some magic, when they are old enough. If I can´t manage that ... I have done something severely wrong.

So here I am ... diving deep again, hoping that by actively taking part in the magic community (finally!) I can overcome some of the things, that hold me back.
An exceptional fear of performing, for example.

Thanks to everyone for reading this. It felt like I had to get it of my chest to begin with.

Sincerely
Alex

Hi - age 87 in June- in magic since age 10 - as a welfare child (Dad left) did small shows to help Mom and sis ($3. - n0w $300.). Welfare gave me good advise. Not to entertain for a living. Why good advise, at the time?- when started my Own Family - Here in the USA, Most Jobs included HEALTH INSURANCE - So Wife, Self, 2 kids - did not have to rely on Dad's (Me) income to pay for Health , Vacations - etc. Now retired, saved ad-vocation Money -saved - helps with retirement pay and buy a home in cash. JUST A NOTE : Welcome- check my profile and fill your's out more so we cqn know you better. Ralph ROUSSEAU

Hi Russo,

Thanks for your reply. And regarding my profile: will absolutely do!

87 wow...I Sure hope I will still be able to knucklebust those sleights at that age

All the best
Alex