Doing a show at a 50th birthday party next week ... anyone got any good one-liners to work into the act?

Age is just a number a very high number in your case but still a number.

50 is a weird age ...you're either listening to the stones or passing them!

Roses are red,
Violets are blue;
No one is quite
As old as you!

(Well, if they are, they don't act it!)

You know you're old when the candles cost more then cake.

If you ask her her age she tells you it's her business - and she has been in business quite a long time.

The guests tried to count the candles on the cake, but the heat drove them back.

What is the best form of birth control for people over 50?

Nudity!

Nothing to do with a 50th birthday, just relevant to Ray Anderson's post, above:


Question: What does a magician use for birth control?


Answer: His personality.

In my case 260 q's!

I think there is some word play in there for being "half a century" but it eludes me at the moment...
it's my own senility of half wit-ism!
Here's a couple others that come to mind...


Fifty eh? Well, you look like a million!
But you're only fifty right?

I see your approaching middle age...for the second time...

For age does not always bring wisdom
for some sadly
it comes alone

Here are a smattering of on-line sites with jokes. Please be careful as they have pop-ups.


http://www.jarusa.com/birthday/jokes.htm

http://www.fun4birthdays.com/jokes/

http://www.happiness-is-online.com/Qr_birthday-jokes.html

http://www.he-ha.com/?cid=10

http://www.birthdaycelebrations.net/birthdayjokes.htm

Cheers El Lamo