I'm looking for brainstorm novel baby gags, bits & one-liners that I can incorporate into a comedy script for the Axtell Big Baby. I'll share my script & routine with anyone who gives me an idea I use. Thanks!

A baby brightens up a home. Since ours came, the lights have been on all night!

Here some more:

A baby is an addititon that becomes a deduction.

One woman got bruise marks in her womb from the baby holding on until after the wedding!

The day my kid was born, he cried like a baby!

There is always the sad story of the baby who was born gray-haired and remained that way until somebody discovered that the mother had bad eyesight and was always powdering the wrong end!

Mother's milk is the best thing for babies. It's nutritious, cheap, satisfying, and doesn't make crumbs!

Here some one liners:

The police are still looking for the stork who brought him.

She was so ugly, when she was born, for six months her folks diapered the wrong end.

She was so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped her mother.

He was so ugly when he was born, his mother was arrested for littering.

His parents spent a year looking for a loop-hole in the birth certificate.

When she was born, they didn't know whether to buy a crib or cage!

He was a war baby. As soon as they saw him, his parents started fighting!

When he was born, two nurses jumped on chairs.

He was born of passion and a condom that had been in his father's wallet too long!

Thanks, MU! You're on the list for a copy of the script! :o) Much appreciated!!!

Use of

Color changing hat.

Color changing bib

Color changing blankey..

Use of "magic baby bottle" like the ones young kids use to feed their baby doll.

Baby does magic such as 2 in the hand one in the pocket..items...
binkies
rattles
chain saw....

careful with the last one.

Harris

There are also tons of ideas on the webpage at http://www.axtell.com/big_babies.html

If you want me to consider your script for the site email me at steve @ axtell . com

I am amazed at all the different ways it's being used!
Ax

Hey Ax,

Thanks for the link. This looks like a fun item! I should get one of these.

How bout this naughty baby routine.

Baby: "baby hungry"
( get baby a bottle)
( baby shakes head no)
(baby points to audience member or assistant (female), smiles and raises eye brows)

just thinkn'

tj

Patriot, I got more one liner if you want them.