You use a spittoon for a lotta bowl

You advertise you're the best tailgate party magician.

Your botania is a large tumbleweed...

Your camera for your promotional uses instant film

When all your patter references "Petticoat Junction"

You have more magic tattoos than teeth...

Instead of applauding everyone takes a swig.

Your next gig is just a whoop-and-a-holler
down the dirt road...

You’re closing trick is the vanishing Doberman.

In your version of "any drink called for" you open the bottle with your teeth.

Or tooth..

You can jump start your D'lite...

When you get thrown out of a Reba concert for doing card tricks while the show is going on.

The bush hogs got your doves ...

To advertise, he made a duct tape name and phone number on the new car door (white car and red door) and sprayed white primer over the top.
Then he removed the duct tape and the red door looked like his name was painted.

Stop me now before I over explain this.

You see, rednecks always have quarter panels or door skins that don't match the rest of the car or truck.
Sometimes they have a Chevy truck & cab but a Ford truck bed.
Occasionally they have the front half of a 64 chèvette with a 63 rear half because the styles changed a little but all the parts bolt together.

Did I explain that well enough?

What was that 2nd part again?...

Thanks Jay. No explanation was necessary or perhaps I should not admit that.

Your zig zag s camouflaged...

When you're at a party and you hand someone your beer and say.... watch this

The 5 members of this sub section would like to thank Wravyn for joining out silly little group and to the distain of others - keep it going till we run it into the ground and need a backhoe to dig it back out.

You use your mind reading dog to find a turkey leg hidden in the theatre.

An oil derrick hangs you upside down for that escape.