In another section is a thread about annoying questions for magicians. I thought I'd start one for us that do clowning.

How do you reply to the old "Quit clowning around" statement?

The only thing I ever did was all of a sudden get real serious with a stern look on my face and hold it for about 7 seconds and then slowly smile and then laugh and say, "I can't stop...heeelllllpppp!"

My favorite response is, "What...and work for a living? No thank you!" Wrong image? I'm a clown! What do I care!

Skip

My reaction to quit clowning around is well thank ya very much I must be doing it right

Its the more hostile comments that get me

working a convention in CT last year A group of young teens had gatherd while I juggled and did some magic thay seemed to enjoy the show but when during my sponge ball routine I moved to retrive a vanished ball from a young mans ear he nearly broke my arm as he said get away from me with that sh** f#$% clown

I had no snappy come back for that

Topper

You should have replied "you gonna look funny with my size 27 shoe up your @$# boy!". Try it next time.
Steve V

I'm not what you'd call a "Rapid Wit". I always seem to come up with these great snappy retorts hours after the event...and of course, then, I can never find the sucker's phone number to let him have it. So, I started writing the insults down in my comedy notebooks and worked on matching comebacks to them. The comebacks are almost second nature now.

"Clowns suck!" = "Well, that explains the "Hoover" stamped on my foot/ass." (Kid's version/No-Kids Version)
"Clowns are stupid!" = "Yeah...but we're smart enough to get a hundred bucks an hour for doing THIS!" <juggle something, vanish something, yada... then walk away with a BIG smile!>
"I hate clowns!" = "And mirrors, too, no doubt!"
"Get a job!" = "Okay! Is your McDonald's hiring?"
"Why don't you grow up!" = "Whiners first!"
"D**n, you're ugly!" = "Bloopo! My long lost twin brother!"
"That was a stupid trick!" = "Yes." (I really want to say, "Funny! That's exactly what I said the first time I met your mother." But, the thought of being arrested in clown for fighting with a mindless punk keeps me pure.)

If they hit me with something I'm not prepped for, I respond with a quick smile and "Gee, thanks for sharing!" before walking on.

As for Topper's incident, how about pausing then shouting something like "Clean up on Mouth Ten!" then walk away waving your hand under your nose..."Phew!" Yup...gonna have to add that to my list!

Skip

I get the, "Hey, Quit Clowning around", or "What are you, some kind of Clown ?" all the time.
I usually reply, "Hey, it beats working"
That usually gets a laugh, and a nod of agreement

For the "I hate Clowns" line, I say, "Me Too" if they say, "But you are a Clown" you reply, "That's why it sucks / stinks to be me."

Fortunately most people aren't like Topper's "jerk". My first reaction, when I read it, would be to say " Don't sugarcoat it, tell me how you really feel", then I would say thanks to the others who were watching and walk away. That way there is no confrontation, if the others still wanted to see more, their friend ruined it for them and it's his fault, and if they thought what he said was funny, you don't want to be around them anyway. Don't take it personal either. Someone like that is probably like that to everyone.

Joe H

"Hey quit clowning around!"
Response "Wow, did you come up with that all by yourself?"

Although I don't wear the make up, I have been called a clown for many years.

In my early years as an entertainer, I mistakenly took it as an insult.

These days I realize how difficult it is to be a great clown.

Back in the 80's I went to a counselor who was researching the fool in history.

The jester was the only person who could be honest with the king without fear of

losing their head.

With a clown in my heart...


Harris "Nearly Normal" Deutsch
Laughologist

I could tell you what I WISH I could say...

"I suppose you enjoy seeing me demean myself so y'all can have a cheap laugh ... [WHAP!!!] ... Homey don't play that."