HAHAHAHA. Too funny.

Anyway, the most important info on the website is there:

Randy Wakeman's Lake Tahoe Bar Magic 2 DVD set.
Brand new and now available for $40 delivered by Priority Mail anywhere in the USA! Send $40 by PayPal to randymagic@aol.com

http://randywakemanmagic.com/frame.html

I hope that's at least a tiny bit better-- satisfactory until I can tune things up.

WOW-Realy nice web update!!!

Chris

Stuffed Crows? I doubt it. Do you have a clip of this?

Sid the Semi-Psychic Water-Dousing Crow has been a magic fan for many years; one of the most pleasant avian audience members you'll ever find. He never does get his beak bent out of shape.

Very astute, I'm tempted to say that "Sid watches you like a hawk" but watching you like a crow is what he is relegated to.

Sid is currently living on top of one of my bookcases and hasn't moved in a very long time. I can only assume he's meditating on just how good Randy's new DVD's are. I'm hoping for a 'caw' or two from him any day now!

Simon

I saw him move, at least for a second. Guarding a place of high honor, the magpie motivation seems lacking. Simon assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out after a long squawk, and of course pining for the fjords not unlike the Pythonian Norwegian Blue. He does tend to keep an eye out for Simon--

Randy, or should I call you Nigel,

You know full well that I glued the eye that fell out back in. I have never used that electric cleaner brush on him since. He seems calmer now!

Simon

Simon, you aren't gettin a bit silly, are you?




A downloadable Windows Media File video clip is here:

http://randywakemanmagic.com/LTBM.wmv

Randy, that's a great clip. It really gives everyone a feel for the DVD set. You da man!!!

Chris

Me silly? .... are you insane Nigel!

Simey

I'm open to the possibility.



There are enough out there that independent reviews should be popping up shortly, just as they should be.

In the meantime, if anyone has any questions about performing the material, I'm happy to tell you what I can that might be of interest or assistance.

Can someone has this DVD set please post a review? Thanks!

Here's one, just in:

"I largely disagree with you which by itself has to make you an idiot. And further, you swine, you vulgar little maggot, don't you know that you are pathetic? You worthless bag of filth. I'll bet you couldn't pour urine out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.

You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you. You are a bloody nardless newbie twit protohominid chromosomally aberrent caricature of a coprophagic cloacal parasitic pond scum, and I wish you would go away.

You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.

You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.

I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?

If you aren't an idiot, you made a world-class effort at simulating one. Try to edit your writing of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.

You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you ckoke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.

You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.

And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?

You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.

On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know....... I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.

The only thing worse than your logic is your manners.

P.S.:
You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally Not Good."-- C. Manson

I just love the Magic that gets a reaction. I am a bit glad he is locked up, though, despite his obvious passion for my material.

Two observations: 1) Never let an ex-girlfriend write a review 2) After reading the above, I have to have this DVD! My order is on the way.

Wow...what a review. And just imagine what it might have been like if they DIDN'T like you!

Mark.

The most insightful, indepth review on the Magic Café, yet. I have to get this thing.

C. Manson as in Charles Manson? Wow!

Well, the great Lovell has a collection of bizarre, authentic correspondence-- but, not me.

I really don't like to "explain" a joke, but I guess I'd better. The "review" is an old Internet prank known as "The World's Greatest Flame." Most people would expect someone to offer the usual superlatives about a DVD set of theirs, so I thought I'd just change the trend with a little self-deprecating silliness. I really can't review my own product, of course.

There are enough out there that you'll get independent reviews soon enough-- or, write your own.

I have no problem saying that the material is seasoned, the audience reactions are authentic, and there is no single routine on both DVD's that I do not use professionally on a regular basis. There is nothing that requires a long set-up, or is any way impractical. Though the title is "Lake Tahoe Bar Magic" the material is equally at home for restaurant work, private parties, trade shows, hospitality suite work, weddings, wakes, and funerals.

It is well-shot and well-edited; I'm a bit "over-lit" on the explanations; but that is subjective. The explanations are very thorough and clear-- with no details for quick learning and effective performance left out.

Steve Brooks has a set, and will likely get around to reviewing it sooner or later. Simon, Harrison Carroll, Tom Gagnon, Wesley James, Ron Bauer, Frank Zak, Bruce Cervon, etc., could all give you a brief impression if that is what you are looking for. So does Simon Lovell, but he is evil, nefarious, a con-man, the King of Satire, and not to be trusted. He does strange things to small animals.

Or, you can believe all the benefits:

You'll have more energy. You'll feel better once you start using these routines. Your vision may improve. Your teeth may appear whiter, your breath fresher. Your skin seems softer. Your gas mileage may improve. Food tastes better. Chicks did this stuff. You'll sleep better. Your vision seems to improve. Your tax bill may decrease. Your chance of alien abduction is diminished greatly. Your libido improves to a point that is barely legal. It is hypo-allergenic, non-toxic, environmentally friendly. No animals were harmed in the production of these DVD's. People will love you like never before.

This magic was a great hit at the Kaopektate Festival last year-- it was a terrific run.

This Magic Fooled Harvey Keck.


I went as Pete Biro for Halloween this year-- not my best move. People mistook me for Senator Joe Lieberman, only funny. Next year, it is back to my Patrick Page outfit. It won't get me any more candy, but they will think I'm a lot smarter than I really am. I hope I can borrow his seashell.

Thanks Randy! I did get the joke and my comment was also meant as a joke. I'm getting ready to order your DVD and I can wait to be entertained by your stellar close-up magic and sense of humor!