There once was magical duck
Enamored with some poor dumb cluck
He climbed on her bones
She started to moan
Hey!!--It's a family website you schm*ck!



Consider the Garden of Eden

Consider the Garden of Eden,
As being the size of Sweden,
You'd wander and ponder,
And search ever yonder,
For a lady to put your (!!! family site !!!)...

Well, Landmark led me to it,

Well Landmark led me to it
And it got me so mad that I spit
I practiced so long
and I still got it wrong
But the truth is that I never quit

Next: There was a young magi from prussia

There was a young magi from Prussia
Whose assistant was killed in a crusher.
One night in Berlin
She fell stepping in.
Did she slip or did the mage push her?


On a cold dismal night in mid Feb

On a cold dismal night in mid Feb
I Googled 'bout every celeb
I read every writer
And much like the spider
I waste too much time on the web.

In such a political season,

In such a political season,
Emotion wins over reason.
The parties all bicker,
we voters feel sicker;
But tyranny's far more displeasin'



There once was a silly clown

There once was a silly clown
as the circus came to the town
"When I'm feeling up
I end up in a pub.
But most of the time I feel down ."


Next:
The magician looked deep in his hat

The magician looked deep in his hat
At the place where his rabbit once sat
He thought it was brave
That instead of a grave
The rabbit had chosen to scat

Sponge bunnies are not so expensive

Sponge bunnies are not so expensive,
Their appearance can be quite suspensive,
With magician's command,
and the wave of a hand,
Multiply into many, it's extensive

NEXT:
I present the queen of hearts,

(a little change in the first line to preserve limerick meter)

When presenting the spec's queen of hearts
Some magi take leave of their smarts
They prance and parade
(No, they'll never get laid)
Not knowing they're just some old farts




A beautiful day in the park

A beautiful day in the park,
Is perfect for having a lark,
I'm especially fond,
Of throwing kids in the pond,
Then shouting "Watch out for the shark!"



I haven't been in here for years,

"I haven't been here for some years,"
Says George as he brushes back tears
"It's lonely back home,
Without letters or phone,
It's true, I miss all of you dears!"




There was a young gal from Peru

There was a young gal from Peru,
Who got drunk and broke into the zoo.
She had a few laughs,
Sipping gin with giraffes,
Then passed out between two gnu.



I am currently washing my ass,

I am currently washing my ass,
It's ugly, hairy and crass.
It's too big for the sink,
But it's NOT what you think,
He's my transport oer the canyon-pass!



I seem to be falling fast,

I seem to be falling too fast:
My future, and present, and past
Came rushing before me,
Explains the poor sore knee--
And also the ass in the cast.

Dividing by zero's a no