I like to paint my knees pink
I like to smell a skunks' stink
If you think I'm wierd
you should check out my beard
and then look in my kitchen sink.


I know a six fingered man...

I know a six fingered man
who could palm cards like no-one can
he met Meir Yedid
stole his act - yes he did!
but got zero applause from his fan(s)

next:

why Stan is not joining in?

Why Stan is not joining in?
one could ask of his friends
is it because
his brain is a fuzz
or will he chime in at the end?


The taliban had a card trick

The taliban had a card trick
an elmsley count and a flick
the cards went blank
the gun went bang
every magician called rick...was shot down dead.

Thanks, I'm here all year.

There once was a man who ate bananas

There once was a man who ate bananas,
more than anyone else alive,
he was doing quite well,
til he slipped and fell,
on a discarded peeling, he died.

next,

Osama bin Laden and Santa Claus...

Osama bin Laden and Santa Claus,
Have their own individual flaws,
Osama has his fun,
With semtex and guns,
Whereas Santa likes whiskey and wh*res.

Next:

A one-legged frog from Peru

A one legged frog from Peru
hasn't much hopping to do
so he sits on his stool
and watches the fools
who hop till they end up in stew.


I say, pick a card any card..

I say pick a card any card
While we are passing time in the yard
Go away you fool
your beginning to drool
next time I will be more on my guard

These limericks are quite the enigma

These limericks are quite the enigma
Said the frat guy from Phi Delta Sigma
He hadn't the brain
to end this refrain
And so, had to live with the stigma


next:
Twenty five is the seven of hearts,

IMHO Best limerickists (did I just invent a word or what?) are by far landmark (Jack) and magicgeorge (the one with santa claus was absolutely hilarious)
we can have a running vote as we keep on posting.

Twenty five is the seven of hearts
said Simon as he ordered the cards
see - I use Juan's
but they both end their runs
with the 9D on their charts

(gave myself some leeway there...)

next:

I once had a show in Iraq

I once had a show in Iraq
for an man who we'll call "Jack"
Quite a nice fellow
though not very mellow
as he had a gun on his back.

(I'm voting for Jack as #1)

Angel and Uri are at it again

Angel and Uri are at it again,
They're both quite peculiar men,
One is a goon,
Obsessed with his spoon,
The other can't finish a limerick very well.

I like Nir and Jack's witty, clever contributions but my favourite Limerick was Corona's brief return to humanity (moo). This is a secret ballot, yeah? Cool, I vote for magicgeorge, mwah ha ha, they'll never know.

next:

My favourite thing about feet,

My favourite thing about feet,
is the way they connect with the street,
and if I implore,
they'll step on the floor,
what a feat!

next:

Whilst investigating the phenomena of baulbs...

(All the limericks so far have been of an excellent standard.... especially mine).

Corona.

Whilst investigating the phenomena of baulbs,
I estimated their weight in lbs,
Weight? You mean mass,
You very silly donkey,
This all rhymes if you don't say it like it sounds.

next:

A dentist that lived in Brazil,

A dentist that lived in Brazil,
decided a volcano he'd fill,
now when it erupts,
it sounds like hiccups,
he's off back tomorrow with a drill.

next:

It's all a question of semantics....

It's all a question of semantics....
if you consider us mantics
we all like to play
all night and all day
and end up in verbal antics.

(I agree with george, the Cow limerick is my fav. as well.)

The Zoo and Logical Times... ( a shout out to Corona)

The Zoo and Logical times,
Is a fortean feast for the mind,
As Corona explores,
The world and it's flaws,
It makes you like twice at mankind.

next:

A baby tortoise called Bob

I meant look not like. This has all turned into a bit of a Corona appreciation society. Let us not forget he is rather weird so by rights we should be poking him with twigs and calling him a freak. Anyhow

A baby tortoise called Bob,

A baby tortoise called Bob,
turned this thread to a plod,
I kept coming back,
for another crack,
but just couldn't finish the job.

next:

Whilst reading Finnegans Wake...

Whilst reading Finnegan's wake,
I started to dream of a steak,
Just then came a voice,
The mouth of James Joyce,
"Hey, Buddy, please stay awake!"

next
It looks like the Red Sox in four